Miles and the Magic Flute by Heidi Cullinan

Thursday, September 8, 2011
When the forest behind a Minnesota pawn shop turns out to be the doorway into a faerie paradise, Miles Larson doesn't see any reason to complain. He's bankrupt, single, and living in a trailer in his backwoods hometown after being laid off from his big city job: he could use a little downtime in a homoerotic dreamland.

But Miles soon learns that in the faerie world, nothing is quite as simple as it seems. The beautiful faerie man who has captured Miles's heart might also be after Miles's soul. The frightening beast who chases him through the forest is actually a noble-hearted human under a terrible curse. And at the center of it all is the deathly beautiful Lord of Dreams, a faerie so powerful that if Miles so much as looks at his face, he will be lost in dreamland forever.

The only hope for Miles's escape is a magic flute, an enchanted instrument that holds the answer to the faerie lord's defeat. But even if Miles is smart and strong enough to wield it, will he dare? When the cold light of truth dawns, if there is no reality beneath the love he's found in the faerie realm, Miles will have to return to his own world—alone.

This is a little difficult to review because I admit some of my personal preferences influenced my enjoyment. I really like fantasy and I love, LOVE faeries. (Go ahead and make jokes at my expense, I know you want to, LOL) When I first met Miles, the protagonist, I really didn't like him because he was whining, entitled, and basically just wallowing in self pity after he lost his job. I realized as I read further that the author made him that way on purpose, to show a contrast as he gradually became less selfish and less inclined to complain that life isn't fair and he deserves better. Miles is staying with friends and working at a pawn shop. He feels pulled to the woods nearby, where he eventually meets a beautiful fey named Terris and a beastly creature that Miles names Harry. He's given a choice between them, and of course he chooses the pretty faerie over the nasty, stinky creature intent on catching and raping him. This begins a series of odd events that take Miles to various dream and nightmare like realms as he tries to discover what is happening to him and how he can save himself from the Lord of Dreams.

Terris is great. I loved him. He's a true faerie: cold, manipulative, deceitful, vain and selfish. I know that doesn't sound very likable, but he's really well done, has some tragic back story to explain his motivations and...I really like faeries. Harry I couldn't understand. We're told he's good and noble, but I never saw it. I never understood why Miles fell so in love with him so fast, to the point where he's thinking about Harry while having amazing sex with perfect, beautiful Terris. I though Harry was just gross. He's hideous, smells bad, and wants to rape Miles. Eventually Miles decides he wants to save Harry and Terris from the Dream Lord, though he eventually sort of abandons Terris and focuses on Harry. To do so, he enlists the help of his friends, three lesbian witches who started out kind of cliched but eventually ended up fleshed-out and likable. He also must learn how to use the magic flute he finds in the pawn shop, and that's an interesting, intricate plot thread.

Unfortunately, at least for me, Miles has to do some pretty bizarre sexual stuff in his quest to save Harry. Some of this stuff is clap your hand over your mouth awful, especially when he has sex with Harry in his beast form. It was awful, I almost stopped reading. There are ginormous, magical sex toys, too much fisting, and magic faerie lube that facilitates the fisting. While I like the story, the interesting and inventive plot, the creative conflicts and unpredictability of it all, the sex was just not hot. Not at all, after the initial Terris scene, which wasn't romantic, but was at least pretty. After that I felt like I was watching a train wreck. This is just my opinion of course, but it was way outside my comfort zone.

Also, it wraps up a little too neatly in the end, and the last battle was a let down. Other than that, I did enjoy the story, some of the characters, and the fantasy setting. Just not the sex. Still, it deserves a good rating for an inventive story that I really did want to see resolved, and an interesting world, and some very cool characters.

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